Why listening isn't always easy
Listening isn't always straightforward. A difficult conversation, a tight schedule or an uncomfortable piece of feedback can test even the most well-intentioned leader. Sometimes, the biggest obstacles aren't a lack of willingness to listen, but the habits and pressures that influence how we respond to others.
Five things that get in the way of listening
1. Rushing the conversation
We are busy, but “I’ve only got five minutes” rarely creates the conditions for a useful conversation. When leaders rush, people often edit what they were going to say, leaving the important bit unsaid.
2. Getting defensive
Challenge can feel personal, particularly when we are closely associated with the decision being questioned. The instinct to explain, justify or correct can be strong. Resist it. Understand the challenge first; respond to it afterwards.
3. Looking like you're listening without really listening
A nod, eye contact and the occasional “yes” don't mean much if your mind is somewhere else. People are surprisingly good at spotting when a leader is simply waiting for their turn to speak.
4. Running out of capacity
Listening takes energy. When every conversation seems to bring another problem, concern or complaint, empathy can become harder to access. Recognising your own capacity isn't an excuse not to listen; it is part of knowing when you need to pause and reset.
5. Listening without doing anything about it
One of the biggest failure is asking for someone's view and then disappearing with it. You don't have to agree with everything you hear or act on every suggestion, but people should know what happened next.
Want to develop your listening skills further?
Recognising what gets in the way is one part of becoming a better listener. Explore our article, Five Ways to Make Your Listening Count, for practical ways to strengthen your listening skills and make every conversation more meaningful.